Thoughts on making good radio spots.

One of my net friends in the advertising business asked me about making radio spots the other day, and it gave me the opportunity to sort through some of the things I think I’ve learned from my days of writing and producing them. These observations might seem obvious to some, but if you listen to enough radio spots, apparently they aren’t that obvious. I’ll put a few of my orphan scripts at the end because they contain examples. Better yet, have a listen to spots deemed good enough by judges to earn actual money at the Mercury Awards. First, you should know I’m a fan of the medium for all the reasons you’ve heard before — theater of the mind, affordability, freedom to set the scene in any time or place or to anthropomorphize anything from objects to personality traits. Some of the following might apply beyond radio spot production to TV or industrial V/O, dialogue directing, podcasting, etc.Choose talent carefully — If it’s true that we automatically imagine a face to a voice, that voice is the critical first impression. There’s a good reason some talent categorize themselves as voice actors. Even announcers you might consider generic communicate in their voice and delivery any number of things — authority, friendliness, balls, compassion. Beyond that, experienced talent usually brings something to the party beyond what you imagined. They might want to try something different from your direction, so let them (after you have the take you think you want.) You and the talent are on the same team; they want the spot to be a keeper for their reels.

Keep the message simple — We all want value, and sometimes the advertiser believes they’re getting more value by shoehorning more features and benefits into the spot. This probably just reduces the probability that the most important one will be absorbed. You can sprinkle a few in as general support, but one key feature or benefit should get the focus.

Music — Even if it’s rarely in the clear, music can be a critical component to the message because it’s an emotional cue and provides the context of mood. Is it energetic? Thoughtful? dramatic? Hip? Whatever it is, that rubs off. It’s worth putting time into finding the perfect music for your spot beyond something to keep the V/O moving along. Try different, even illogical genres. Sometimes you get a pleasant surprise.

Direction — In addition to the usual variables, inflection, emphasis, and pacing, consider adding pauses to your arsenal. The pause can be very useful — to add drama, to indicate a character thinking , to give the listener a little break in jam-packed spots. In music, the pause or a breakdown adds emphasis to the announcer at that point in the script. The pause is a mighty thing. If you want the talent to sound happy, make sure they’re actually smiling when they read.Timing - The actual performances, more often than not, tend to exceed the estimates you make when reading the scripts yourself, so it’s better for a script to run short in the studio because it’s easier to add than to cut, unlike carpentry.

Disclaimers — From a creative standpoint, it’s hard to give them value. I’ve heard people try to sing them and weave them into the copy. Some will put them at the beginning of the spot, which seems to make sense because if the last part of the spot is what listeners tend to remember, the disclaimer probably isn’t what you want there. On air, of course, a disclaimer up front can leave the impression that it belongs to the previous spot or is a disclaimer that somehow got untethered. However, the disclaimer’s noble effect is to give lawyers less to do or at least more productive things to do. If the disclaimer is just too long, it’s worth a trip to the legal department to see if you can work together to cut it. Here’s a nice rundown on how and why to have adventures with the legal department.

Station talent — This one might sound odd, but I think station produced spots are sometimes underrated, at least by creative people. They might not be the most creative executions in the world, but they have the advantage of the endorsement vibe from, presumably, a known voice or personality. The product or service has to match the station and personality though. I once heard a right-wing talk show host doing a spot for some kind of new age massage and aromatherapy business, and it just did not work.Who says what and when — I think this one is the most common spot killer, when the script has characters speaking unnaturally to deliver what an announcer should be saying. And it’s so avoidable. Just break up the dialogue with the announcer in several small doses. That’s not to say a character can’t carry the freight, but the language has to be believable.

Humor — My theory is that when you reward the listener with entertainment, he or she is predisposed to have a positive feeling towards the advertiser, remember the spot, and maybe even tell a friend about it during lulls in conversation. As entertainment, humor is a popular way to entertain in radio because it’s usually cheaper than original music and generally more appropriate than drama (with the exception of charities and politics.) But humor is subjective. For instance (to leap to TV for this example) I thought the show Arrested Development was funny and entertaining, but according to ratings, I was in the minority. Still, some things are favorite humor sources. It might not speak well for humankind, but people getting fired or caught in embarrassing situations — almost anything from the vast humor strip mine known as Schadenfreude — can work. Beyond that, much like stand-up comedy, universal experiences in silliness (some voice menus come to mind) can get your audience nodding with you, and with any luck and some skill, they will nod along with your advertising message. Other examples include casting or dialog that’s against type — a CEO behaving like a petulant six-year-old, a gramma ultimate fighter. True, it’s been done, but it can always be done better. There’s also the kinder, gentler brand of humor from the Tom Bodett Motel 6 school from the mighty Richards Group. One last thing, I think it’s a good idea to give your audience some credit in “getting” the humor. Exaggerating the humor with over-the-top deliveries or SFX can be distracting, insulting and annoying, like elbows asking “Get it?” Also, the word “pants” is always funny. But maybe that’s just me.

These are just a few very general tips that seemed to hold relatively true in my experience, but it’s a short list, so please add.

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Naughty Pants –

(SFX: Cell phone ring )

WOMAN: Hello?

MAN: Hellooooo, Sugarbumps.

WOMAN: Mmmmm. This sounds a little naughty.

MAN: Oooh.. What am I wearing?

WOMAN: You’re supposed to ask what I’m wearing.

MAN: Oh, wait. Never mind. I’m wearing pants.

WOMAN: Naughty pants?

MAN: Just pants.

WOMAN: Bob, where’s the naughty part?

ANNCR: Oh, I’ll tell you naughty. What if you get to the end of the month and don’t use all your wireless minutes? They’ll disappear faster than dryer socks or a snappy comeback.

WOMAN: Those disappearing minutes should be spanked.

ANNCR: Oh, they’re spanked into next month with XYZ Cellular, so you can actually use the minutes you pay for. If you talk a lot, you could save 20,30, 40-percent.

MAN: We could use some practice time.

ANNCR: Sign up with XYZ Cellular now and get a Nokia picture phone, free after rebate. That could help.

WOMAN: Bob, did you call just to use your minutes before they disappear?

MAN: Yeah… Is that naughty?

WOMAN: Oh, maybe, I guess…a little.

ANNCR: I’ll leave you lovebirds to your dysfuntional chatter. ABC Cellular. Let’s talk.

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Stallion –

WOMAN: XYZcars.

MAN: Yes, are you the people who run the ad until it’s sold?

WOMAN: That’s right. Sell your car with XYZcars and we’ll run it for four straight weekends, and until it sells on XYZcars.com.

MAN: I find this soothing and reassuring. Very well, please arrange for me an ad as follows. “Throbbing, muscular stallion…”

WOMAN: Stallion? What kind of car is that, sir?

MAN: Why, a throbbing and muscular one, an untamed renegade whose loins are aching…

WOMAN: Sir, cars don’t have loins. Would you like to speak to the people in personals?

MAN: Do they have this run ‘til it’s sold policy of which you speak – reaching 2.4 million adults in four weeks?

WOMAN: No, sir. That’s just XYZcars.

MAN: Then let us continue with — the Stallion. He’s a proud and noble beast who enjoys old movies and long walks…

ANNCR: The run ‘til it’s sold offer from XYZcars.com may well be the smartest, easiest, and fastest way to get results when you’re selling a car. You’ll reach a bigger market, and get a better price. No wonder XYZcars.com sold over 130 million dollars worth of cars in 12 months. But tempting though it is, try to remember it’s only for cars, not people.

MAN: …keep his fluids fresh and flowing, and the Stallion will be a reliable companion…

WOMAN: Sir, didn’t you call me last week with a hemi powered Love Rambler?

MAN: The Stallion rears up defiantly…and away!

ANNCR: XYZcars. We sell cars. Fast.

______________________

–Inner Child

(SFX: Phone ring and pickup)MAN: Kiley & Gilcher. Matt speaking.

INNER CHILD: Matt, don’t freak out on me.

MAN: Who is this?

INNER CHILD: It’s your inner child.

MAN: Sorry?, The connection’s iffy…

INNER CHILD: Well, I’m calling on the Tagalong Happy-Fone.

MAN: (fondly) The Tagalong Happy-Fone?! Oh, it was so shiny!

INNER CHILD: Yeah, — well, the reason I’m calling is because I need you to help the children. You know, one of the country’s premier pediatric providers is right here in town.

MAN: Children’s Medical Palace? Oh, they were great. They got those lima beans out of my nose.

INNER CHILD: Right. Well, they count on donations and contributions to stay on the cutting edge of medical technology and treatments specifically for children. It’s easy to help. Just log on to CMpalace.org.

MAN: Okay. I’ll make a deal. I’ll visit CMpalace. org — if you let me talk to my Random Reader.

INNER CHILD: Hang on.

RANDOM READER TOY: ( prerecorded kids’ educational phrases) The teacher—washed muffins – on my head.

MAN: Ahh, that’s good stuff. I never knew what that thing would say next. Hey, don’t wait so long to call next time.

INNER CHILD: Well, I couldn’t get through during your adolescence.

MAN: Yeah, no one could.

ANNCR: Children’s Medical Palace. CMpalace.org.