Adventures in customer service.

I went to buy an item with a check the other day but was denied by some sort of automated check clearing service used by the merchant. After calling this service and negotiating the answering system’s endurance test, I was told that a clerk at some store had entered the wrong driver’s license number on my check. Apparently the person with this license is frowned upon by the check clearing system. I assumed that since the customer service person told me the problem with their data, they would fix it. Not so fast.I tried writing another check a few days later and the check was again declined. I called again. The customer service representative described the same circumstances I’d heard before, so I suggested they fix the problem. (This is the good part.) The customer service rep told me that to get the errant “negative information” disassociated from my account I had to write them a letter explaining the exact circumstances she had just relayed to me by phone (and recorded, according to the pre-conversation disclaimer.) She also wants me to send photo copies of my driver’s license and some canceled checks, while I’m at it.How many things are wrong with this scenario? Feel free to borrow the fingers and toes of family members or coworkers.Beyond the ridiculousness of it, part of the problem is that the term “customer service” doesn’t seem to apply here. I am not a customer of this check clearing service. At most I’m a customer of the bank where the money I’m trying to spend resides, and ideally, the merchant where I try to write the check.As I understand their business, the merchant is the actual customer, though I might be making the payment in increased prices at the store. If the merchant is the customer, they are paying for what is essentially insurance that I’m not bouncing a check and probably collection services if I do. To do that, the check clearing services needs my information. I am providing them with the raw material for their business — gratis.Interestingly, in the course of my phone calls I also learned that the amount of money I had to cover the check was not a factor in their automated decision to decline my check. Instead, it was the “negative information” associated with my account as the result of a clerical error at a merchant.So, it’s hard to see how I am the customer here. I think I’m just a citizen.